Friday night with the (once upon a time) Peckham clan!

Went to the pub, Got quite drunk. Saw our friends play some emmense music and had such a laugh. Here are some pics of us larking about!

We had a fabulous night and I just want to say guys, I fucking love you!

GO AND SEE TAKE THE PAIN!

Ciao!
xxx

I'm feeling thoughtful...

I've never been one to keep my shit inside. I tend to volunteer my opinion at every available opportunity. Sometimes too often!
I'm in a strange mood. I'm thinking about our future, the world as a whole and my little family here in this flat too.
We have 3 cats, and each other of course. I like that. I like my little speck in this corner of my world. Our life, my Husband, our irritating animals (I love 'em but they do grate on me occasionally!) and our home. But I want more. I want my house to be ideal. My dream home.
This flat is perfect for us and our future but I want it to be nice. I want nice things, good furniture, I want to de-clutter and redecorate it really well.
I want children. Really soon. And I'm so excited to consider the new chapter we've started by getting wed and the next chapter when babies come along. When I think about my life I smile, and I couldn't have honestly said that a few years ago!
But there is ONE thing holding me back from this. ME.
I'm too big, whatever people say and however well I did to lose all of the weight I lost, I'm still not healthy or small enough. And I really do want to become the perfect woman for my Husband. I have a brilliant sense of humour, and a good personality (if I so say so myself!) and like I said, my opinions have always been forthcoming!! but I want to look and feel good and be confident within my own image, in my own body.
So what the freaking hell is stopping me? I don't know!
I don't have any motivation and if I'm honest, I'm BLOODY lazy when it comes to exercise.
I try, BELIEVE me I try. But I don't try enough. And I can't find anything to make me want to.

For some reason my own desire just isn't fucking enough...

Ciao.
x

Been a while!

It's saturday night!

I'm on holiday basically. Visiting my mummy by the seaside and meeting up with lovely friends.
And it occured to me while talking to someone I hadnt seen in years just how much one forgets!
My closest friend is now seeing a guy I knew at 17yrs old. We're now 24/25 and he hasnt changed very much. But he brought back so many memories I had lost. And I realised how much I had forgotten from my college days. I have had friends, aquaintences, mates. But never many people who have stuck around in my life that are worth knowing now.
He said names of people that made my hair stand on end. People I forgot even existed and times I spent with them that I don't recognise!

His first words were "bloody hell, you've lost LOADS of weight!!" He's right, I have.
And he has changed alot too, I reckon he took my weight actually, the skinny runt is no longer all that skinny. Or runt-like for that matter!

But I wanted to send a little message to all the people I have known and since forgotten, to say that although we had some fun, some good fun, and some baaad fun with one or two names in particular! We have lost most of that now, and I think it's sad.
One has such large areas of memory, like childhood smells and sounds, people one went through school years with, people one liked or disliked aged 10. But the people I did some (what should have been) memorable things with have totally escaped me.

Is it age?
Is it experiences?
Is it merely natural to lose some perhaps less significant things along the way?
I don't know, but I had great fun reciting and recalling old forgotten stories.

So thank you Ant, I remember some of it now as though it was yesterday and you reminded me of some things and some people that seem somewhat long ago!

A good evening had by all I think, and a much needed change from the norm.

Ciao!
x